Matilda the Musical

Bruce Lyrics

MISS TRUNCHBULL
Bruce Bogtrotter.

BRUCE
Yes, Miss?

MISS TRUNCHBULL
You liked my cake, didn't you, Bruce?

BRUCE
Yes, Miss Trunchbull, and I'm very sorry–

MISS TRUNCHBULL
Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
As long as you enjoyed the cake, that's the main thing.

BRUCE
Is it?

MISS TRUNCHBULL
Yes, Bogtrotter, it is.

BRUCE
Oh, well, I did, thank you.

MISS TRUNCHBULL
Wonderful, marvellous, that makes me so happy.
It gives me a warm glow in my lower intestine.
Oh, cook!

MISS TRUNCHBULL
What's the matter, Bogtrotter, lost your appetite?

BRUCE
Well, yes, I'm full.

MISS TRUNCHBULL
Oh, no, you are not full.
I'll tell you when you are full.
And I say that criminals like you are not full
Until you have eaten the entire cake.

BRUCE
But–

MISS TRUNCHBULL
No "buts," you haven't got time for "but." Eat!

BRUCE
But I can't eat it all!

MISS HONEY
Headmistress, he'll be sick!

MISS TRUNCHBULL AND CHILDREN
MISS TRUNCHBULL
He should have thought of that
Before he made a pact with Satan
And decided to steal my cake.

MISS TRUNCHBULL AND CHILDREN
Eat!

CHILDREN
He can't!

MISS TRUNCHBULL
Eat!

CHILDREN
He surely can't!

MISS TRUNCHBULL
Eat!

CHILDREN
He might explode!

MISS TRUNCHBULL
Eat!

CHILDREN
I can see that a slice, or even two, Bruce
Might've been nice.
But even you, Bruce,
Have to admit
Between you and it
There's not a lot of difference in size.

CHILDREN
He can't! (He can, Bruce!)
He surely can't!
You are the man, Bruce!
He might explode!
He's quite elastic!
He's going to blow, make him stop!
He's fantastic, look at him go!

CHILDREN
I can't watch!

CHILDREN
I think in effect
This must confirm, Bruce,
What we all suspected:
You have a worm, Bruce.
Or maybe your largeness
Is a bit like the TARDIS:
Considerably roomier inside.

CHILDREN
He can't! (He can, Bruce!)
He surely can't!
You are the man, Bruce!
B-R-O-O-C-E!

CHILDREN
Bruce,
The time has come to put that tumbly-tum to use.
You produce, Bruce,
Fantastically enthusiastic gastric juice.
Oh, eat it up, lick it up, suck it up.
Whatever you do, don't chuck it up and muck it up.

CHILDREN
Come on, Bruce, be our hero!
Cover yourself in chocolate glory!

CHILDREN
Bruce,
You'll never again be subject to abuse
For your immense caboose.
She'll call a truce, Bruce.
With every swallow, you are tightening the noose.
We never thought it was possible,
But here it is coming true:
We can have our cake and eat it too!

CHILDREN
The time has come to put that tumbly-tum to use.
No excuse, Bruce!
Let out your belt, I think you'll want your trousers loose.

CHILDREN
Oh, stuff it in! (Bruce!)
You're almost finished! (Bruce!)
You'll fit it in!
Whatever you do, just don't give in! (Bruce!)
Don't let her win! (Bruce!)
Come on, Bruce, be our hero!
Cover yourself in chocolate glory!

MATILDA
Go on, Bruce, do it!

CHILDREN
Ohh, Bruce,
You'll never again be subject to abuse
For your immense caboose.
She'll call a truce, Bruce.
Just one more bite, and you'll've
Completely cooked her goose.
We never thought it was possible,
But here it is coming true:
We can have our cake and eat it!

CHILDREN
Ah-ah-ah-ah!
Ah-ah-ah-ah!
Ah-ah-ah-ah!
Ah-ah-ah-ah-aah!

MISS HONEY
Go on, Brucey!

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