There Is Life Outside Your Apartment Lyrics

BRIAN
Princeton!

PRINCETON
Yeah.

BRIAN
Listen, buddy, nobody’s seen ya for two weeks.
What’s up with that?

PRINCETON
I went to work for a temp agency, and they
fired me for being too depressing on the phone.
I maxed out my cards, I’m two months behind
in rent, I totally messed up my personal life.
Oh, and Brian - I still haven’t found my purpose!

BRIAN
All right. Get off your ass and stop worrying!
Everyone’s getting together to mess around the city today.

PRINCETON
Have fun!

BRIAN
When I say everyone, that includes you!

There is life outside your apartment.
I know it’s hard to conceive.
But there’s life outside your apartment.
And you’re only gonna see it if you leave.

There is cool shit to do,
But it can’t come to you,
And who knows, dude
You might even score!

There is life outside your apartment.
But you gotta open the door!

PRINCETON
No, thanks, I’m staying in!

BRIAN
Don’t tell me I gotta force you.

PRINCETON
Sorry!

BRIAN
All right, everyone! He’s resisting!

ALL BUT PRINCETON
There is life outside...
There is life outside...
There is life outside...
There is life outside your apartment!
There’s a pigeon
Squashed on the street.

CHRISTMAS EVE
Ew.

BRIAN
There’s a girl passing by

NICKY
No I think it’s a guy

ALL BUT PRINCETON
And a homeless man
Who only wants to
Buy something to eat!

Sorry, can’t help you.

We could go to the zoo!

TREKKIE MONSTER
Pick up girls at NYU!

BRIAN
We could sit in the park smoking pot!

CHRISTMAS EVE
Or not.

ALL BUT PRINCETON
There is life outside your apartment.

PRINCETON
Well, I guess I’ll give it a shot.

ALL
There is life outside your apartment.
I know -
There is life outside your apartment.

VOICE #1
I’m gonna jump!

ALL
Don’t do it!

VOICE #1
Okay

ALL
There is cool shit to do
But it can’t come to you
So come on -

VOICE #2
Get out of the way asshole!

PRINCETON
Fuck you!

ALL
There is life outside your apartment.
Oh, you never know
What’s around the bend.
You could win the lotto
Or make a friend...

GUYS
Take her home to see your apartment!

LUCY
Do you wanna feel special?
I can see that you do.
Well, I can make you feel
Special.
If you let me feel you.

GUYS
She’ll feel you!

LUCY
Where’s your pad?

PRINCETON
Not too far.

GUYS
We could call you a car.

PRINCETON
We’ll be fine, thank you! See ya!

CHRISTMAS EVE
Hope you don’t get gonorrhea!

ALL
There is life outside your apartment.

PRINCETON & LUCY
But now it’s time to go home.

ALL
There is life outside your apartment.

TREKKIE MONSTER
Me going home now.

PRINCETON & LUCY
It’s time to go home!

TREKKIE MONSTER
That’s where me gonna go!

LUCY
I can make you feel special

TREKKIE MONSTER
That’s where me gonna go!

ALL
There is life outside your apartment.

TREKKIE MONSTER
Me going home now,
That’s where me gonna go!

PRINCETON & LUCY
But now it’s time to go home

TREKKIE MONSTER
For porn!