Avenue Q
KATE
The internet is really really great
TREKKIE MONSTER
For porn
KATE
I’ve got a fast connection so i don’t have to wait
TREKKIE
For porn
KATE
Huh?
There's always some new site,
TREKKIE
For porn!
I browse all day & night
TREKKIE
For porn!
KATE
It's like I’m surfing at the speed of light
TREKKIE
For porn!
KATE
Trekkie!
TREKKIE
The internet is for porn
KATE
Trekkie!
TREKKIE
The internet is for porn
KATE
What are you doing?
TREKKIE
Why you think the net was born?
Porn porn porn
KATE
Treee-kkie!
TREKKIE
Oh hello kate monster
KATE
You are ruining my song
TREKKIE
Oh me sorry, me no mean to
KATE
Well if you wouldn’t mind please being quiet for a minute so I can finish?
TREKKIE
Me no talkie
KATE
Good
I’m glad we have this new technology
TREKKIE
For porn
KATE
Which gives us untold opportunity
TREKKIE
For por-oops, sorry
KATE
Right from you own desktop
TREKKIE
For …
KATE
You can research browse & shop
Until you’ve had enough & you’re ready to stop
TREKKIE
For porn!
Trekkie!
TREKKIE
The internet is for porn!
KATE
Noooo
TREKKIE
The internet if for porn!
KATE
Trekkie
TREKKIE
Me up all night honking me horn to porn, porn, porn!
KATE
That’s gross you’re a pervert
TREKKIE
Ah, sticks & stones Kate monster
KATE
NO really, you’re a pervert
Normal people don’t sit at home & look
At porn on the internet
TREKKIE
Oh?
KATE
What?
TREKKIE
You have no idea
Ready normal people?
NORMAL PEOPLE
Ready--- ready ----ready
TREKKIE
Let me hear it!
TREKKIE & GUYS
The internet is for porn!
PRINCETON
Sorry Kate
TREKKIE & GUYS
The internet is for porn!
PRINCETON
I masturbate!
TREKKIE & GUYS
All these guys unzip their flies
For porn, porn, porn!
KATE
The internet is not for porn!!
TREKKIE & GUYS
Porn! Porn, P---
KATE
Hold on a second!
Now I know for a fact that you, Rob, check your portfolio & trade stocks online
ROB
That’s correct.
KATE
& Brian, you buy things on Amazon.com
BRIAN
Sure!
KATE
And Gary, you keep selling your possessions on Ebay
GARY
Yes I do!
KATE
And Princeton, you sent me that sweet online birthday card
PRINCETON
True!
TREKKIE
Oh, but Kate-
What you think he do . . .after? hmm?
PRINCETON
. .yeah
KATE
Eeewww!
TREKKIE & GUYS
The internet is for porn!
KATE
Gross!
TREKKIE & GUYS
The internet is for porn!
KATE
I hate porn
TREKKIE & GUYS
Grab your dick & double click
KATE
I hate you men!
TREKKIE & GUYS
For porn, porn, porn!
(Harmonising) porn, porn, porn, porn
KATE
I’m leaving!
TREKKIE & GUYS
Porn, porn, porn, porn
porn, porn, porn, porn
KATE
I hate the internet!
TREKKIE & GUYS
Porn, porn, porn, porn
TREKKIE
The internet is for
TREKKIE & SOME
The internet is for
TREKKIE & ALL
The internet is for PORN!
TREKKIE
YEAH!